yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
