the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
