Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
