it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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