i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
bring money and cleavage
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need water and some morals
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
