you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
