Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He did a backflip because drugs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
