We named our party play list daddy issues
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
