I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
