You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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