She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
