Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
