I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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