ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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