she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
