Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
