HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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