That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
