Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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