he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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