We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
