we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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