We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
