Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
