Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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