Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
