Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
