I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
