"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
