i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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