my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
