i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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