last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
