he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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