he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
