I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
