I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize