You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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