So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
