Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
