I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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