Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
