I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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