she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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