My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
