Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
