wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize