hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
