I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
