she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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