I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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