I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
