Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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