No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
