I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
