So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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