Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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