please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
