My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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