it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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